If my life were to end right now
I would hardly call it a loss
Years wasted by a naïve fraud
Cowering inside a dark iron box
Imprisoned in the mind of a terrified child
A place I was told I'd never be alone
This castle to repel all of life's pain
Only trapped me inside with my own
How do I begin to make amends
For deceiving everyone I've ever met?
There's no solace to be found in forgiveness
For I hate myself too much to forget
So I'll seek my atonement through servitude
And I have a mask to suit your every need
My life is a gift I humbly lay at your feet
And I can be anything you'd ever need me to be
If the punishment needs to fit the crime
Then it's your turn to hurt me this time
Make me your scapegoat, or your whipping boy
See in my face all those you'd destroy
I can take the abuse, don't hold back on me
Just let go of your rage and your grief
If penance can be bought by drowning for you
For the rest of my life, that's what I will do
Carve your pain into me
Stab your fury into my chest
Unshackle your sadness
And lash your hurt to me
Give unto me
That which you cannot bear
Commit your suffering into my hands
And I will shield you until you can stand
A Good Samaritan
Sent to mend your broken soul
Smile and at last you can be free
The darkness that plagued you is now locked inside me
Can my guilt be washed clean by your tears?
Can this self abuse pay for the last 20 years?
Will I know when my time's finally been served?
Have I tortured myself more than I deserved?
Year after year, I limped through life in this way
Growing weaker and weaker with each passing day
Portraying a pillar of inspirational courage
But I may be dying so others can flourish
For a moment I reflect on the smiles I've seen
The lives that I’ve touched and the suffering I've eased
How I wish they could buy me one second of joy
And how I wish I could've warned that shy little boy….
The Boy:
“A moment of levity and an inward smile, seems my debt has finally been paid. But the doctor is understandably solemn as he gives me the news. If only he knew….”
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