Year 5: Lost Before Life Even Began

from Life Lessons That Only Death Can Teach by Steve Hall

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lyrics

The boy quickly looks away, were the others staring again?
He tries to shut out the sound, was their laughter pointed at him?
Was he simply being ignored, do they even know that he's there?
He shifts his eyes to the ground, wanting only to disappear…

While the other children play, the boy sits alone on the swings
Each day the other Voice visits him, they speak of simple things
The Voice inches closer, "Will you come with me today?"
"I can make the hurting stop, but you must do as I say."

The Voice promises, "in time all your sadness will fade."
"And the yearning to belong in their world will simply melt away."
"You'll feel no pain at all, and each day you will thank me."
"For you will be reborn, and I can set you free."

And the Voice whispers:
"If you feel lonely,"
"I am the only friend you'll need,"
"And if you are scared,"
"You can hide your fear with me."

"Embrace the absence in your soul."
"Emptiness will be my gift to you."
"Lock yourself away from it all."
"You're dead to them, they're dead to you."

Just a shy little boy who thought no one would understand
Had a dangerous solution placed into his hands
The loneliness hurts so bad, but is it worth the price to pay?
In a moment of desperation, he trades his life away

A frenzied rush of panic as he feels the change begin
Cold sorrow rusts his soul, til nothing's left of it
Suddenly longing to again be that shy little boy
But he is transformed, and that child's been destroyed

And the Voice whispers:
"You won’t feel lonely,"
"I am the only friend you'll need,"
"And you won’t be scared,"
"Your fear is tucked away in me."

"Embrace the iron in your chest."
"This transplant is my gift to you."
"Lock yourself behind a mask."
"And abandon the boy you knew."

Those near me scarcely noticed the shift
As a stranger emerged from his cocoon
The mask that I wear tells a lie, that all is well
While inside I collapse, leaving only a child's shell

The Voice:

"Cast them aside and show them they're all to blame.
Their indifference and cruelty are what forced you to change.
Love is a pitiful vice, sought by the desperate and weak.
And one day when you're ready, our revenge we will seek."


Rage screams through my body
All compassion and joy scorched black and bitter
Feelings cauterize behind clouds of ash
Innocence chokes beneath nuclear winter

The Voice:

"They will neglect you,
And they will disrespect you,
They will shame you.
And they will blame you.
They will berate you,
And they will hate you,
They will reject you.
And they will forget you."

Somewhere in the dark, a banished memory weeps on Its knees
Begging "please don’t go, please don't leave me."
Somewhere in the dark, a fading memory weeps and dies
It's last remnants trickle from my black empty eyes

The Boy:
“It is finished…”

credits

from Life Lessons That Only Death Can Teach, released November 1, 2014

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